5 Signs Your Child is a High Emotional Intelligence Powerhouse

It’s not what happens to you, but your response to what happens to you that matters.

-Epictetus

Do you want to know the importance of high emotional intelligence (EI) in your child? Globally only 36% of people have EI.

Have you ever experienced that your child understands your feelings just by looking at your gestures? Have you also noticed that your child has adapted to a situation you thought he could be angry/cranky about? Does your child also share his favourite toy with any other kid? Do you also see your child comforting his friend in pain? If your answer to any of these is yes, then there is a chance that your little one has high emotional intelligence.

Mental Health America in an article on Emotional Intelligence (EI), has stated how emotional intelligence can help someone understand the emotions of self and others. It further describes the five characteristics of EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills management. Kids develop EI as they grow older. Although, it is our duty as parents to help them navigate these emotions. Let us look at these signs of high emotional intelligence that your munchkin might possess.

Signs of High Emotional Intelligence in Kids

Self-awareness

Self-awareness of emotions means understanding why you feel a certain way. Emotions like joy, anger, sadness and fear engage our mood.

Also Read: How to care for elderly at home: Tips for Kids

By understanding their natural talents and areas that need improvement, children can focus on developing their strengths and find constructive ways to work on their weaknesses.

If your child can express the reason behind his state of mind, he might have a high emotional intelligence. As parents, we need to observe this and act accordingly.

Signs

• It’s my birthday. I am so happy.
• I am sad because I wanted to go out.
• I love you Mom for ordering my favourite pizza!

Self-regulation

Self-regulation of emotions refers to learning to manage emotional meltdowns without any intervention.

Imagine your child throwing tantrums at home. The bell rings and someone is waiting outside. Surprisingly, your child stops yelling and is as quiet as a swan. He calms down and keeps himself busy.

He might be furious at present. But realises that it’s not the right time to project his emotions.

This is the self-regulation that your little one possesses!

However, self-regulation of emotions is a gradual process and depends upon various factors (hunger, home environment, etc).

Parents can guide kids about self-regulation in a fun way, like while on a walk or playing games.

Signs

1. Waits for their turn to slide at the playground.
2. Keeps silent inside a library.
3. Expresses feelings verbally rather than hitting others/ yelling/throwing things.

Motivation

Your kid has his exams scheduled for the next month. And you have guests arriving around this time. What do you think a child with high emotional intelligence might do?

He would set goals and stay focused beforehand!

Yes! You are right my dear parents!

Sometimes situations are unavoidable and we need to adjust. All you need is to take the initiative and stick to it.

And this motivation to stay focused comes from within the family. If your child sees you taking responsibility in a disciplined way, a better version of you will arrive soon!

Signs

• I’ll learn to ride a bicycle before the vacations start.
• Mom, I can do this on my own.
• Let me give this another try.

Empathy for others

Empathy can be best understood as putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

Kids can understand the emotions of others through facial expressions and gestures. And this is a gradual process. You can see your child smiling when you are happy. If he sees you sad, he might come to console you.

The National Library of Medicine’s article on children’s empathy states that one can develop empathy by self-representing (others’ emotions and thoughts). And this depends on how we perceive ourselves.

Signs

• Mumma, Rohan had a fever yesterday. I hope he is fine now.
• Don’t worry, you can play with my toy.
• You look tired Mom, do you need something?

Social Skills Management

Social skills management is the ability to build and maintain positive/healthy relationships with others.

Social skills develop in kids from home and get groomed in school and peer groups. However, factors like gender and cultural background also contribute to this.

If your child can play in a group wherein he cooperates and listens to his peers, it is a sign of high emotional intelligence.

Signs

• Pays attention to what others are saying and avoids interrupting.
• Let us take turns to slide.
• Let me help you cross the road, Grandma.

Tips for Parents

Parents, let us jump beyond these signs and work on some strategies to develop and enhance emotional intelligence in our kids.

Make sure to use age-appropriate language and be patient.

Calm-down Kits for Kids

Parents, here are a few techniques to develop emotional intelligence in your child. Ask them to spend time on these techniques and see the difference. To make the process engaging, you too can participate.

These little games can be a barrier in sibling wars too!

Relaxation Techniques

When kids get overwhelmed with emotions, they often find it difficult to express their feelings. They also look for prompts that help them manage emotions.

Practise relaxation techniques like deep breathing, reverse counting, Yoga and meditation. These techniques can help kids express their feelings smoothly.

Give them a chance to speak out about what’s inside them.

Set Achievable Goals

Parents, you can help children by setting achievable goals. Do not set the standards too high! Also, celebrate their progress.

If they have a portion of the syllabus to complete, encourage them to take up lessons one at a time. Guide them through tough concepts and revisions. You can also give them a pat on the back for solving tough questions correctly!

Read, Watch and Discuss

Take time from your family time to discuss different emotions with your child. Books and shows can be your guide to groom your child’s emotional intelligence.

List of Emotionally Intelligent Books:

• Emotionally Intelligent Ninja: A Children’s Book About Developing Emotional Intelligence.
• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
• The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld
• Disney Lion King Storybook

Shows on Emotional Intelligence:

• Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
• Elena of Avalor
• Chhota Bheem

Conclusion

Raising a child with high emotional intelligence is a rewarding journey. We only need to look for cues that kids provide. Signs like self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills management are tools for emotional intelligence. And this blossoms over time. So parents, are you willing to invest in your kid’s future well-being? If Yes, help them understand and manage their emotions.

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