5 Powerful Ways to Develop Respect For Elders in Kids

Everyone you meet knows something you don’t know. Learn from them.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Dear parents, do you also feel that the generation gap has taken a toll on the lives of our kids? That heart-to-heart connection is fading away? Are kids not missing out on the valuable lessons elders can offer? If your answer is “Yes”, then you are not alone. It’s time we take charge and foster respect for elders in kids. More than just good manners, it’s about creating a meaningful experience for both young and old.

5 ways to Develop Respect for Elders in Kids

1. Be the change you want to see

Children are like sponges, absorbing the behaviours and attitudes they see around them. So parents, if you want your child to develop respect for elders, you can be their mirror. Watching your activities towards the elders, they will follow in your footsteps. This means treating elders with kindness, patience, and courtesy. Use polite language, offer assistance and actively listen to their stories. You can also plan visits to meet them. Make sure to accompany kids whenever possible.

In India, we have a tradition to touch the feet of the elders while meeting. Vanshika used to watch us doing this as a child. Now that she is a toddler, she touches the feet of every elder whom she visits or meets. And the surprising part is that none of us (me/husband) ever asked her to do this. She somewhere understood the process. I am sure she will come up with the question why when she grows up.

2. “Respect for Elders”- Not on the Face, but within

Kids these days are prone to “on-face” behavioural patterns. This has become a universal truth. Most kids either react (show any emotion) that sounds fake or do not bother blatantly. As per a study published under ResearchGate, some children associate older people with stereotypes.

As parents, we should educate kids about the importance of genuineness in behaviour. Reciting yes sir/mam (for the sake of it) does not reflect a deeper understanding of respect. I have seen kids not even coming out of their rooms when someone visits their home. This can be a future red flag for us as parents also. And this behaviour needs to stop. The key lies in nurturing genuine respect that goes beyond mere politeness.

We can teach our children to value the wisdom and experiences (elders) have earned throughout life. Kids can also be taught to be kind enough to show empathy. Contribute to overcoming the challenges of day-to-day life that elders face.

My toddler (Vansh) had developed a habit of smiling and talking to only people who offered her a gift. I decided to observe if what I was thinking was true or if it was just a toddler’s mood not fine that day. To my surprise, it was the former reason. Now you can neither change someone’s behaviour instantly nor talk in-depth about this with a toddler. I knew she was not yet ready to understand. So I had to build stories around why we need to develop respect for elders.

Also Read: How to care for elderly at home: For kids

3. Spend time with trusted elders

To develop a cordial relationship with one another and develop respect for elders, time plays a factor. As per a study published by PubMed Central, a sense of happiness and smile could be seen in older people when preschoolers interacted with them. Kids can spend time with trusted elders like grandparents, family friends or even elders within the community. We can create opportunities for regular interaction.

This could be anything from sharing meals to participating in hobbies, volunteering side-by-side, or simply having engaging conversations. Through these interactions, kids can learn about life experiences, gain valuable insights, and develop a deeper appreciation for the elders. For elders, nothing makes them happier than seeing people around. They also feel a sense of validation and look forward to life.

However, it’s equally important to create a safe space where children feel comfortable expressing discomfort, even with familiar people. Here’s a helpful resource for parents: 5 Best Signs for Kids About Unwanted Touch

My grandfather is around 87 years old. His health has taken a toll recently. He has been super active throughout life, so lying on the bed makes him unhappy. This January I decided to visit him. Vanshika is very close to him. Within a day I could see the difference. While Vansh was around him throughout the day pouring her out to Dadu, he enjoyed every moment. He was keen to listen to her stories, getting those facial massages from Vansh and whatnot!! Although I was his favourite grandchild, he cried for Vansh when we were returning.

4. Turn the table around: See through the elder’s perspective

With age comes a lot of barriers. Parents, you can educate kids about the various challenges that the elderly face due to their age in the day to day lives. Discuss the physical limitations accompanied by age, the challenges of memory changes, and the lack of patience. This will help them cultivate an instinct to respect for elders.

Ask children to talk politely to elders, offer help wherever needed and give an ear to what they are talking about. Elders often complain that everyone is busy and they have no one to talk to. Children can be their medium to express their hearts.

Vanshika has been close to my grandfather since childhood. She now knows how to help him (as per her understanding). He is bedridden most of the time. She never forgets to give him his radio from the shelf and bring a glass of water whenever he asks. I often giggle at watching both of them talking to each other.

5. Bridge the gap with technology

Technology can be a powerful tool for connecting children with geographically distant elders. Parents can make this bond to help connect kids with the elderly through video calls. Even those who live together can use technology to bridge the gap. Online games can be a fun way to spend time with each other. Kids can also help elders learn in detail about the Internet.

One of my cousins, around 15 years of age helped his grandfather install and teach the user interface of WhatsApp on his phone. Within a month he got a group call from his grandfather where his parents were also connected.

Conclusion

fast-paced world, fostering genuine respect for elders can seem like an uphill battle. But by incorporating these simple strategies we can bridge the generational gap. Let us create a world where respect is not just a courtesy, but a heartfelt connection.

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